The big question....

From arriving in New Zealand there has been one question that has kept popping into conversation from people I've spoken to back home and the new people I have met in New Zealand. It's a simple question to ask but not necessarily an easy question to answer, well not easy for me to answer anyway. So what is this question you may ask? 

'What are you going to do when you go back home?'

I left home for a reason, to take time out for myself and to escape the people, memories and general things that were bringing me down. I wanted to treat this trip and experience as a fresh start but haven't necessarily thought along the way about what I plan to do on my return. Many people I have spoken to and met in New Zealand, that have travelled here, gone back home and then returned to New Zealand to stay, have told me that all those things that made me want to leave are still going to be there when I return home. Things simply don't change.

I'm not going to deny it but I have had moments when this question has worried me and brought me back down from the highs I've experienced. Moments that have made me almost scared to come back home as I don't want to be back in that place of depression that made me leave in the first place.

If there is one thing New Zealand has taught me, it is to not stress yourself out over situations you can't control. Things happen and you simply need to realise you can't change it but deal with it and move on. Don't stress yourself out, as stressing changes nothing. The hard working but chilled atmosphere I have lived in for the last five months has definately improved my way of living. Laughter has played a huge role in every single day I have worked here alongside determination to get jobs done so that time to relax and chill can be fully enjoyed. I'm not saying New Zealand has been the answer to all my problems, it's simply helped me understand why certain things have happened in my life and how I need to react from now on if those similar feelings of depression ever arise.

So what is my answer to this question you may ask? I don't have one, well not as this current moment anyway. Life unfolds in the present and at present I am still trying to figure out an answer to this question whilst continuing to enjoy my final few weeks of working in New Zealand. I have to get home first and see how I feel on my return. Will I stay? Will I return to New Zealand? Will I travel somewhere new? Will I totally change how I earn my income? Who knows. That's all I know is that whatever happens......I'll handle it. These three simple words are what have helped me since I started organising my trip out here to New Zealand alongside the other obstacles I have faced along the way. Three simple words that calm myself down when I start to stress out over unnecessary problems. So what am I going to do when I get home? Who knows, all I know is that I'll handle whatever life throws at me.

I'll handle it.

H x